As a young man, where I come from, street cred was pretty much everything in some peoples eyes. There were a lot of things you could be looked down upon for. Crime, however, generally wasn't one of them. I knew burglars, fences, drug dealers, porn freaks and benefit fraudsters who were proud of what they did.
There were three things I recall that you certainly were not proud of. One was being weak or a coward. If you got beaten up or ran away you were looked on by some with disgust. Weakness was bad. Very bad. Another social no no was being a virgin. Seriously, if you reached 16 and you hadn't slept with someone you lied about sleeping with someone. {That is unless you never want to hear the end of it.} The third thing that would be guaranteed to lose you respect among your peers was to become religious. Now I'm not talking about that kind of religion that is a cultural carry over from your parents {Although even that can see you seriously ridiculed}. I'm talking the kind of, "I got faith," kinda religion. Your street cred will be left face down on the floor. So what did I go and do? I became a Christian!
Many people don't know this but I lived in fear in those early years. Despite my best efforts to keep my head down and my mouth shut people found out and they sought me out. It seemed like every man wanted to 'de-convert' me or make me look stupid. I got some very heavy flak. I'm talking about threatening or trying to assault me kind of flak. I'm talking about trying to get me sacked from my job kind of flak. My crime? I was a 'Jesus creeper'.
I felt it was the most difficult thing in the world to share my new found faith with anybody. The reactions of many people in conversation led me to think I was a lousy Christian and that I was doing something wrong {Even though I wasn't the one initiating most of the conversations!}
It was around that time God showed me something that has stayed with me ever since and really helped me deal with the sense of inadequacy, failure and guilt that so often came with these encounters. I want to share that vision with you today in the hope that it will also help you if, like me, you have struggled with condemnation when trying to share your beliefs with others.
The vision started with a guy who had just got home from playing rugby. He heads to the bathroom and while there he takes a look in the mirror. That's when this story gets a little weird. Looking in the mirror, as you would expect, he sees his face covered and smeared in mud from the game he's just finished. He looks for a moment in surprise. A shocked expression dominates his features for just a second or two before being replaced by a hesitant then self confident smirk. "Seriously?" He exclaimed. "You really think I look like that?" To my bemusement he began to berate the mirror as if it was the stupidest article he had ever come across in his life. The man found it the most laughably absurd thing in the world that this mirror would actually show dirt on his face. The vision would become stranger still.
Next I saw another man. His face was also covered in dirt. He looked into the mirror and showed the same shocked surprise of the first man {again, albeit, for the briefest of moments}. Without warning he just erupted. Shouting and gesticulating wildly this man was deeply offended and he simply could not believe the sheer audacity of the mirror {which was apparently completely to blame for showing what a dirty face he had}. By this time the whole scene was utterly ridiculous to me, For crying out loud the mirror is simply reflecting your face! There is a bowl right in front of you! Just wash and have done with it! If I thought the reaction of the first two people was unhinged then I was in for a surprise when the third person turned up.
She was elegant, well dressed, and well mannered. Walking into the bathroom she stopped at the mirror to somehow perfect her already immaculate hair. Then she froze, seemingly stuck in time, as she saw what she really looked like. There it was. Mud! Her face was caked in it. Horrified, she looked around, paranoid that someone would see her. She hesitated, panicking. "What do I do?" She looked down at the bowl of water and paused. Suddenly she reached into her handbag and brought out a mask. It was one of those masks you associate with the theatre. Putting the mask on she straightened her hair in the mirror like this was a perfectly normal thing to do and walked on as if she was entering the set of a Hollywood chick flick.
Seriously it was nuts. These people were off their heads! Why on earth would anyone react like that? If you look in the mirror and see dirt on your face your natural reaction would be to wash it off. I've lost count of the number of times I've come home from playing football and done the same thing myself. The reaction of the three people I saw in the dream seemed to defy any kind of logic.
Then God showed me the meaning of the dream. He showed me that the scriptures {the bible}are like a mirror. By looking into them we see ourselves as we really are. We see the inner dirt. We see in inglorious technicolour the sins that decorate our hearts. God's word shows us our true condition and then I got it. I understood. My mind went back to the man I had a debate with who just stood there and ridiculed me and I understood why. I recalled the person who, out of the blue, just blew up in a rage. I recalled the person who made a fine show of how he was a good person only to hear his real views in the men's locker room when he was 'with the lads'.
I realised that coming into contact with the mirror of God's word is unnerving. It strikes at our insecurities. We respond like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden when they heard God coming. They hid behind aprons of fig leaves. We hide behind mockery. We hide behind self righteous indignation and anger. Some hide behind a mask of morality. When it came to an encounter with each of these kinds of people I felt discouraged but now I saw it for what it really was. I wasn't a failure. I should actually be ENCOURAGED because if people react like this it means God really is showing them what they are like.
My message for Christians today is this. Don't be discouraged if, in sharing your faith, you don't get the response you hoped for. In fact that negative response is evidence that they really do see it. They see their sin and shame. Your witness is being used by Jesus to bring conviction of sin. Their reaction is simply a defence mechanism against what God is using you to show them. You are not crazy. Neither are you a bad or failed witness. You did what God wanted you to do. Next time someone ridicules you or blows up in a rage or puts on a front of self righteousness be encouraged! God is doing something. That's why they react like that.
Perhaps you are reading this and you are one of those 3 people described. It really doesn't bother me if you are mad, bad or sad but I want you to know this. Over 20 years ago I was in the same place as you. I heard the message of the gospel that showed me up for who I was. I was what the bible calls a sinner. According to God's law I had fallen short of who I was created to be. There is, however, a place to wash. It is not religion. No religion can save you. It is not doing good deeds as no amount of good can wipe away the dirt. So what hope is there? What is the point of making us feel bad if there is nothing we can do about it?
That's the whole point of the gospel message. It is Jesus Christ who paid the penalty that I should have paid. He died in my place. He dies for every sin you and I ever committed. He paid the penalty for every sin we have ever committed and every one of God's commandments we have broken. God's word tells us that we were never made to die but death came into the world through sin and now infects every one of us. Jesus is the answer, not only to all the wrong we have done but to death itself. Jesus not only died but defeated death itself by rising from the dead so that if you put their trust in him and follow him the slate will be wiped clean. You will have your sins forgiven and receive a new life that lasts forever.
If you are still reading perhaps you are sneering right now. Perhaps you are offended or you just don't think it applies to a 'good person' like yourself. I don't care. I just want you to know that 20 years ago Jesus changed my life. I know every wrong thing I ever did had been forgiven and I have an absolute assurance that if I were to die right now I would be in heaven.
What about you. It comes to us all. This is not a scare tactic. We all die after all. Me, you, all of us. It's the one great inevitability. Are you ready for that day? That's the whole point of Jesus coming to earth. Without him we are not ready and looking into the mirror of God's word and seeing ourselves, dirt and all, is the first step to realising that.
How you respond to that is, of course, down to you. Laugh, shout or put on a mask. It's up to you but know this. God hates sin so much that he cannot possibly tolerate any of it in heaven but God loves you so much he came to this earth and died in our place so that all our wrongs could be washed away and we could be with him forever.
"For God commends his love to us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us"
shalom...steve
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